


The Annunciation

by Sequesters



Category: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Based on that one post on Tumblr, Gen, I couldn't stop thinking about it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-09
Updated: 2019-07-09
Packaged: 2020-06-25 03:40:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19737586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sequesters/pseuds/Sequesters
Summary: "Good Omens is even funnier when you realize Gabriel is the angel who told Mary she was pregnant with Jesus" -- Tumblr user mxlxdroitThis is my take on that night.





	The Annunciation

Mary of Nazareth was minding her own business on a day very much like any other. Well, a night like any other. She sat at the table, like she always did, doing her nightly prayers by candlelight, like she always did, there was no indication that tonight would be any different than any other night. 

Except, of course, for when she blew out her candle and turned around to find a finely-dressed man standing behind her.

“Greetings, uhh, you who are highly favored! The Lord...is with you,” said the strong-jawed man, stumbling through an obviously practiced line.

One might assume, since Mary is such an important figure in God’s Great Plan (And even Her Ineffable one!) that she would speak in stilted thees and thous, reverently taking any divine intervention in stride. One would be wrong, of course, for a few reasons: One, she was an ordinary human, who lived and laughed and loved and experienced the full scale of human emotion, including fear and distrust. Two, Mary did not speak English--especially not Shakespearean English. And since the words exchanged on this night of the Annunciation were spoken in Aramaic, this translation of that pivotal moment in God’s Great Plan is meant to capture the  _ feeling _ of her words, rather than the exact letter, to be understandable to modern audiences. 

“Who the hell are you, and how did you get in my house??” Mary said defensively, holding up her prayer book like a weapon.

“Be not afraid!” said the man (or rather, angel) in the corner of her room, “Be not afraid, my name is Gabriel, the uh,  _ Archangel _ Gabriel, and I have a message, from…God.”

Mary lowered her prayer book as she looked the Archangel up and down, skeptical. Gabriel straightened his tunic nervously. It was a new one, with an experimental intricate trim that he had picked up in Jerusalem, and he suddenly worried that it was a little too...business- _ casual _ for this important meeting with the future mother of the Christ child.

“ _ You _ bring a message…from  _ God? _ ” asked Mary, wrinkling her brow in disbelief.

Gabriel sighed, and manifested his wings, white as newfallen snow.

Mary’s mouth fell open at that, and a kind of divine worship danced behind her eyes.

There we go.  _ Now  _ he had her.

“Yes! I’ve uh, I’ve been sent down here to talk to you about The Almighty’s Great Plan,” Gabriel said, “And the role you have in...helping it along.”

“How could I help the Almighty?” asked Mary.

“Well, let me give you the basic gist-- God kinda needs to... _ manifest _ on Earth, you see, to bring salvation to the human race, further the Great Plan, all of that. And that would be just fine and dandy, but, there’s a bit of a complication--God can’t just APPEAR here, you understand, to gaze upon the Almighty would be simply TOO much for all of you mortals, some heads might explode, the land would be barren in a hundred miles each direction, MAJOR liabilities with that plan, you understand,” Gabriel chuckled a little.

Mary cocked her head to the side, not really seeing the humor in his words.

“Ahem. So, the plan is, find one of the humans to act as a vessel, and give birth to the SON of God, which would bring God’s divine presence down to the earthly realm, in a way that you all could handle.”

“And God...has chosen ME for this?” asked Mary.

“Bingo!” Gabriel said, “The Almighty feels that you would be the best for the job, so I have come to...ask you, if you’re willing to take this on.”

“Why me?”

Gabriel shrugged. “Don’t ask me, I’m just the messenger. Not really our place to ask, you know? Best not to think about it too hard.”

Mary still looked unsure. “How could I birth God’s child?”

“Don’t worry, it will be just like your human mating and reproduction rituals! You, Mary, will be the uh…mother, of the child, as I have heard it put. And God…God will be…the other one. The impregnating one. The one that doesn’t…carry the child…” he snapped his fingers and looked at her sheepishly, trying desperately to remember the intricacies of human reproduction.

“The…father?” Mary supplied.

“Yes, of course, that thing!” said Gabriel in relief, “Yes, She will be the  _ father _ of this child, and also his divine essence, don’t worry, we will take care of the details. Just do your human thing, give birth to it, and everybody Upstairs will take it from there.”

Mary looked at Gabriel, deep in thought. Gabriel gave her a winning smile.

“I-I am the Lord’s servant,” she said carefully, “I will do it.”

Gabriel clapped her on the shoulder. “I knew I could count on you, buddy! Give me a minute while I relay your consent Upstairs.”

Gabriel held out his hands, and an intricate chalk circle appeared miraculously on Mary’s floor, lit by the light of ten candles.

He clasped his hands together in prayer. 

“Almighty?” he asked, eyes closed, “Yes, I have gotten her consent. She is ready.”

Opening his eyes back up, Gabriel gestured to the inside of the circle. “Stand right here, please.”

Mary slowly walked into the center of the circle, careful not to knock over any of the candles that lined the circumference.

“Once you see the holy light, you should find yourself pregnant in one to two business milliseconds,” Gabriel informed her, taking a big step back.

All of a sudden, holy light rained down upon Mary, and she couldn’t help but gasp in awe, unable to look away from the soft blue beams of divine love coming down and filling her soul with wonder. 

“Aaaaaand congratulations! You are now…pregnant, with the Christ child!” Announced Gabriel, clapping his hands together.

Mary stepped out of the circle, and gently touched a hand to her navel.

“Thanks a lot, by the way, for being a champ and taking this project on,” Gabriel said, pointing finger guns at her, “Really makes my job easier, know what I’m saying? Gotta go now, heavenly business to attend to and all that.”

And so the Archangel Gabriel left Mary alone in her home, the son of God growing inside of her, wondering what  _ exactly _ she was going to tell Joseph.


End file.
